From the Duggars to the weekly examples of the latest clergy or legislator who has professed “Family Values” – which everyone knows is code for anti-LGBT equality - it has become routine, even expected, to find that the more someone righteously protests, the greater the likelihood that they have related skeletons in their closets struggling to burst out. It’s been a psychologist’s expectation for generations that the louder people object, the more likely it is that they’re covering up their own guilt.
They’re easily, and rightly, labeled hypocrites. And preaching moral outrage against others while living and doing what it objects to is a necessary part of legalistic, moralistic right-wing religions.
But labeling them hypocrites is too easy. It actually lets the religious views, and most of the people who endorse them, off the hook.
Any right-wing religionist can agree that someone didn’t live up to the standards they blame on divinity. “We’re all sinners,” after all. But if these sinners are willing to seek some kind of forgiveness, to the right-wing it really doesn’t matter what they did. Their slate is cleansed and right-wing religion is thereby reaffirmed...
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I Had Time to Read Only One Other Article This Week,
Most Helpful One for My Work Would Be —
Michelangelo Signorile: "Why Indiana Wasn't a Turning Point on LGBT
Rights -- and Why You Should Be Mad About It" (June 15, 2015)
"And please, spare me the argument that the laws won't hold up in court, which is often yet another symptom of victory blindness. First off, no one knows that, and after the Supreme Court's Hobby Lobby decision, we should all be concerned. Secondly, the goal of anti-LGBT conservatives is in fact to keep LGBT equality tied up in the courts as they gather their forces, raise more money and deny us our rights for as long as possible while they attempt to roll them back, just as they do on abortion rights, voting rights and other issues. So, yes, they had exactly the win they were seeking."
Read Michelangelo Signorile: "Why Indiana Wasn't a Turning Point on LGBT Rights
-- and Why You Should Be Mad About It."
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Religion Is an Addiction
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"A recent article in Business Insider entitled “Science Says Lasting Relationships Come Down to 2 Basic Traits” highlighted the four decades of study by psychologist John Gottman on traits that help relationships last. The article summarizes these as “kindness and generosity as opposed to contempt, criticism, and hostility.”
Though those two words might make us think of certain actions that partners can perform, what’s behind the idea is actually what Gottman calls “a habit of mind.” Those who master their relationships are, he explains, habitually scanning the social environment as well as their partner for things they can appreciate and say thank you for.
Close partnerships depend upon whether the partners are looking for the good, expecting the good, and appreciating the good in their partner’s expressions even when at first glance something could be taken negatively. They are ready to compliment, point out the positive, and say “thank you.”
On the other hand, when two people get to the place where one or both partners is looking for things to criticize, or to prove a one-ups-manship so that they’re really acting out of their own insecurities and feelings of inferiority in comparison to their partner, the relationship is in trouble. And one person’s insecurity expressed in this way leads to further insecurity...."
more in Dr. Minor's latest column: "A Relationship Maker: The Mental Habit of Kindness"
Minor on July 13, 2014, again responds to
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Fairness Project On-Line Activist Tool Kit
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